She lays her head down on the twinkling stars.
She pulled a blanket up to her chin.
Moon came over to comfort her, but there was and is nothing he can do.
Sun came over to warm her, it only works a little.
Earth shuts her eyes as a bomb goes off and kills her a little more.
Moon covers his eyes, while Sun weeps fire.
Mother earth is dying , their friend, their own mother.
In a few years Earth will die.
Moon gets mad so he only reveals himself as a little sliver.
Sun is upset to, but she needs to be strong for Mother Earth.
So now they wait for us.
We have to save mother earth, don't fight with exploding bombs...fight with paint bombs.
That will color the earth again in those beautiful colors.
We have stop global warming...us...no one else.
Even if it takes us years, at least we're trying.
So are you ready? Cause we can wait
but the Earth can't.
1 comment:
Aisha, great message in this piece. I really like the imagery (like Earth coughing) and the personification of Sun and Moon too. Your start with an emotional tale draws the reader in, opening him/her to the direct plea in the second paragraph.
If you'd like to add a bit more power, I would suggest changing "coughed" "pulled" "came" into present tense like the rest of the verbs. That will add to the urgency of your message and keep the piece in a consistent tense. Also, traditionally most people associate the sun as male and the moon as female, so switching the genders in your story will help more readers relate.
Wonderful writing, Aisha. Creative techniques to spread such an important global issue is a very smart way to write!
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